I'm sitting here at 1:30 in the morning..

I'm sitting on my computer at 1:30 in the morning.. I have a friend sleeping over.. She's already sleeping though.. :/ I'm just sitting there thinking of him.. Him and I are friends.. Finally<3 But he loves another girl.. The only reason he knows her, loves her.. It's all because I had them meet thinking she wouldn't be such a selfish bitch and say yes to him.. She knew I loved him.. I said to her that I would hate her if her and him went out.. But she doesn't care. As long as she has what she wants she's happy.. At one point she lost all her friends for him.. No guy is worth that.. NO guy is worth losing the friends that have been there for you.. But fuck her.. She doesn't know I'm mad at her.. She think's I "love" her.. Yeah right.. I never have. And now I definitively never will.. He said to me, she is all he needs.. he said he loved her more than he ever loved me.. And he said he would never go back to loving me.. When he said that... I was about to kill myself..

No matter what anyone says though.. I will always love him.. I need to prepare for seeing him at the beginning of the new year.. He said since him and I are friends I should find him by the end of the day.. But I'm not going to.. I'm making sure he won't be able to figure out which girl is me.. I want to see if he is even looking for me.. I doubt he is though.. I think him and ugh.. her.. will break up by the end of the summer.. He will get tired of her fat-ness... or her violence.. Or the fact that he is probably smacked by him almost every time she see's him, he is too much of a pervert and she will get tired of it. And when she get's mad she smacks, and sometimes even punches.. And I am going to be there and the only thing I will say is..
I told you it wasn't real love bitch.. I told you, you guy's wouldn't last forever..
I am going to laugh my ass off.. :] It's gonna be awesome.. She's gonna regret losing her friends because her friend's won't be there for her when her heart get's crushed.. And he will start smoking again.. and drinking... and doing all those drugs he did before.. She said she changed him. Yeah right, I was the reason he stopped doing drugs, the reason he stopped smoking, the reason he stopped drinking.. The reason he didn't kill himself over 2 months ago... For almost a month I was the thing keeping him alive.. Now it's that ugly-ass bitch.. She can.. burn in hell for all I care.. I actually hope she does.. I would love that..