Graduation Party

So yeah... my graduation party its getting closer and closer and I don't know if wanna go anymore.
I'm worry about so much stuff going on this year; what am I gonna do after get out of school, what will happen with my friends, what if I don't enjoy my last years as teenager, and now worry about this thing of party is the cherry of the cake.
At first I was really excited to go, like what dress would I wear, what shoes, how my hear would look, I even told my mom if she dyed my hear purple and she agreed, BUT as always theres has to be a problem.
For the first time I wouldn't go by myself, forever alone somewhere, I was going with my best friend (who secretly I'm in love with),apart of that, I though that I was gonna have the time of my life, but it turns out that everything is fucked up 'cause my best friend's class has their graduation party at the SAME FUCKING DAY!! so I'm fucked, 'cause I won't make him choose between his class or me :( and is really hurtfull 'cause we were really excited, we have talk about that his tie had to combine with my dress, what kind of swit he was gonna wear, the dress that I wanted, the shoes, how we would enter to the room, everything EVER FUCKING THING!! and now all of that is fucked.
But thats for my part, because he hasn't said anything about it, when he found out that both partys were at the same day, he just stay there quite, looking nowhere and me, I was freaking out in the inside, but he said that he wanted to go to my party, but also to his party so WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??! I already said that I don't want to go to the party but my mom is insisting "go Vale how could you miss something like this. You could go with your cousin" yeah go with my cousin sounds really good, knowing the fact that we barely speak to each other and that he's like twenty something, I mean he is kinda cute (not saying it in a creepy way) and he could make the bitches of my class go wet for him but it wouldn't be the same, I wouldn't enjoy it, my idea was dance, drink, laugh, do all those stuff with my best friend, and now I won't be able to do it.

Fuck...