Heartbreaker

"I might let you break my heart, if I dont break it first, ahhooo oohh, I might let you break my heart, If only mine would hurt" (Anna Nalick)

Its funny cuz im unfortunately a pro at breaking peoples hearts. You know how when youre a little girl, there are all those outfits that say heart breaker dadada, yeah well guess what, thats not a good title to have... at all!

Anyways, Im like a pro at it, and in turn im soo frickin terrified to love because I know what it'll bring. It'll make me break his heart and hurt my self in the end.

What sparked this??

My current heartbreak.

Its a ridiculously sticky situation so I wont explain it, just philosophize (if thats even a word) about it. He told me he loved me and I knew on the inside I did too, but I didnt want to lose him. Funny bc either way I lost him. I tried to avoid saying how I felt and whn I told him I felt free. I was finally happy after all the shit I had been going through. But of course life is like ohhh? Shes happy? I need to change that. Somehow I did something that caused everything to come crumbling down. I let him down somehow and I became the culprit of his shattered ego and my broken heart. All from something I still have noooo idea that I did. He freaked and wouldnt even let me try and figure out what was going on. Its like he could tell I was getting ready to hurt him. Im like the path to misery, you want a little taste of heartbreak? Let me take you down that road. I didnt want to leave him, I didnt want to walk away from the situation bc he means so much to me, but I had to. I had to break my own heart, pick up everything and simply leave.

Im a heartbreaker all right. I even break my own heart. And here I thought I was afraid of being in love because others would hurt me, when really its me who hurts my heart... ugh!