Help me dear Mibbians!

Hello!

I am currently writing a book and I have a deadline for the first half of my chapters and I am supposed to get proof that viewers like or dislike the stuff I am writing.

My book is called Quest.
There is no swearing, slash or innapropriateness.
It is an original and so far I have the first six chapters on Mibba.

I would really appreciate it if someone could read it and give me as much critisism as they can (you don't have to read the whole thing, just the first chapter).

It's ok if it's good or bad (I already know I have horrible spelling, grammar and words) but that is why I have the deadline so I can hand it in to my editor.

I would really appreciate it if you guys could help me.

Thank you so much for reading this and I hope you enjoy my book (if you read it)