Decided to take a leap and actually go after what I want rather than let it slip away from me, as it always does. I didn't want to regret it later, or think why the hell didn't i do anything? I could have had it. In this particular case, a guy.
Mutual feelings, yeah? Distance? Ruins everything. I confessed that i kind of loved this kid more than a friend. And.. though he does like me, i'm too far away for him to say yes to me. I thought we could make it work, yknow? I'm getting my license soon, i'd be able to drive to see him, we could skype... all that fun stuff. He's lovely, and it's not his fault. It's mine for telling him that and messing things up, as always.
I don't think i've cried like this in a long time, or hurt this much in awhile. Either way, I don't like it. It hurts. I'm familiar with it, but I don't want to be. I guess this is life's way of telling me that I can't have something after letting me know that I probably could. It sucks.
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