Stupid awkward teenager-ness.

I hate being awkward. I'm so frustrated with how awkward I am.

Okay, so start story at the beginning:

So his name is Sam. We've gone out several times, but never alone. I feel like he's losing interest and I hate it. I'm so awkward and inexperienced that I just can't force myself to initiate what I want to happen.

UGH.

I mean last night at midnight, we hugged before going home and he told me happy birthday and kissed me on the cheek. I think he's afraid I want to move a lot slower than I really do. I mean, he had no problem kissing me when I was drunk. Well, I guess I also wasn't quite as awkward and shy then either.

I'm so freaking lame guys, I really am.

Then this afternoon we went on a double date to the movies and nothing. I'm like my own personal c*ck blocker. Hahaha. Why can't I just be normal. I'm nineteen, it shouldn't be this freaking hard for me to date or initiate things. :/

On the bright side, I had a pretty freaking great birthday. Wish I could have at least gotten a hug or something after the movie.