Sudden Lonlieness

I've never felt so out of place or lonely as i have now.

I'm currently at my dad for a summervacation and the thing is that i don't really have anyone to be with, i don't have any friends here because i'm only at my dads place every other weekend + he lives out of town so there's mostly 40+ and farmers here. I have 2 younger brothers age 4 and 5 and now my grandma has come down for a few days and this is why i'm lonely.

I mean i don't fit in with my younger brothers 'cause all they care about is pirates and animals and i don't really fit in with my dad, grandma and step mom because they're almost always in the kicthen smoking (and there's only three seats) .. meaning that i sit down in my room for almost the whole day.

But about 50 minutes ago my dad asked me if i was coming upstairs to join them while they were outside (it's about 11:50 pm now) and i said sure but i just can't get myself to go out there, everytime i try i start to cry and run down the stairs again and i don't know why.

Now i feel like it's too late since he asked me 50 minutes ago. I don't know if this gave much sense to the people who is reading this but i'm really having a hard time getting my thoughts and feelings into words, maybe i can write it better tomorrow after i've had time to calm down.

Anywa, i was wondering if anyone else have felt like this?

(Sorry for grammar mistakes)