What About Me?

okay ive never done this before and ive never actually talked about this but i thought i would try this and talk to people who knew what i was going through.

Okay so ever since I was little it's been me,my mom, and my sister. My dad left before I was born and i know nothing about him nor do I have a picture. The only thing I know about him is his name. Whenever I ask my mom about him and she's always like," oh I don't want to talk about it right now." shes been saying that for 15 years now and it drives me crazy. When I was little and i'd go to dance class all the other girls dad's would come and pick them up from dance and i'd ask my mom, " why dont i have a daddy to come to dance class with me?" she would never give me an answer. when i was in the 8th grade i found out i had a brother and we had the same dad... that was embarrassing because we started dating but for only like 7 hours! i was so mad because my mom never told me that she knew i had a brother! it hurts me that she doesnt feel like she can tell me about him! i just wish she would sit down and talk to me about it!
the other day i found a picture of him and we have the same eyes and same nise and i just felt all these emotions like i was mad and upset..... i just started ripping it up and now i feel horrible! i have nothing of him now. ive been told i was stupid for wanting to find him that i was a loser and i was so desperate that i dated my "brother" it's not like i knew about! that hurts me alot when they say stuff like that.... i dont know anymore