Love

Two years ago, the thought of love didn't bother me. Well, it did in a sense. I'd always wanted to fall in love. I loved love. The thought of finding that someone and never having to worry about being alone fascinated me. I couldn't wait for that special someone to take me in his arms. I couldn't wait for the day where I'd get to wear a white dress.

A year and a half ago, I only said I didn't believe in love because it's what most girls did. We want so much for a boy to try and prove us wrong. We want them to deliver us as a whole new being who basks in the sunshine of love, and know that that boy proved you wrong.

Now, I never say I don't believe in love. I never say 'I love you' and know what it means. Love doesn't exist to me. I thought it did, I always did, but now I've seen that it doesn't. The thing I was taught love was, isn't. I'm not telling you the things that exist in my mind for sympathy, I'm simply expressing myself. I'm angry, actually. Love isn't something that can overpower something else, like I was taught. Maybe God's love if you're Christian, but other than that we're all hopeless in this life. I've learned that dreaming about that love and believing that love is that powerful only ends in someone's misfortune. Disappointment.

I can see it in people's eyes and know things. I've always been like that. I know how they're feeling, I know what they're thinking, I just know. I'm not saying I'm a mind reader. I've just always been sensitive to people's feelings because I was always an observant kid. I watched adults facial features and listened into the tone in their voice. I know when someone's lying.

Therefor, if someone says they 'love' something, I can see that they have not an idea of what the word actually means. I'm starting to believe that love is a much more [powerful and rare thing than any of us know. You can say you love your best friend, I say it to mine all the time, or your boyfriend, or your parents. But you don't really lovethem. You love them in your sense of the word, but not the real word. I know you think "no, I really do love them. This is the word you're talking about" but it's not.

Love is much more powerful than any of us know. So powerful, that I don't think any of us will actually experience it.