I feel like screaming.

At around 3am this morning i kinda lost it. I cut myself 5 times on my thigh with a random tack i found in the wall. Then I passed out.

This morning I had no recollection of what I'd done so I obviously didn't make any attempt in hiding the scars. My sister saw them and she told my mom as soon as she woke up.

I'm just so pissed but then again I'm grateful that my sister cared enough to tell someone. I know a lot of people who want someone to notice that they're hurting so I suppose I should be more thankful, but right now I don't know what to think. I just want to slip away from my mind and dream forever. I don't even think I want to die, I just want to daydream and get lost in the GOOD side of my head.

I want to destroy something. Anything. It doesn't neccessarily have to be myself or a living person. I just want to punch and kick and scream. Punch and kick and scream.

Thank God I have therapy tomorrow. It's my first time going too. Any advice?