Blurry Thoughts

I don't know what to do anymore.
Life isn't as simple as it looked when I was younger. I thought growing up would be the best thing that would happen to me, yet I feel like complete shit all the goddamn time.
There are so many things wrong with my life that I don't even know how to focus on it all.
My minds a blur, I'm not as motivated as I used to be.
I have no friends. I keep everything bottled up inside.
I don't even talk to my family the same anymore.
I can't even look at them the same anymore.
My sister, the one that I thought I can trust, is untrustworthy.
My older sister loves being around me, yet she talks down to me all the time. Making me feel worse about myself.
My baby sister I feel the need to protect yet she still stabs me from time to time too.
My own mother doesn't treat me like the little girl I used to be. Now I'm just an attention seeking whore, who doesn't give two-shits about her family, and fucks whoever, whenever. She also thinks I do drugs.
My father is my best friend, but when I yell at my sisters or mother for treating me the way I do, it's all the sudden my fault because I'm causing a problem.
It's always my goddamn fault now.
I don't even know what to do.
I really just want to get out of this hell hole.
All I need is those two years to come to an end and then it's off I go.
Everything is planned out already, I just need to wait.
Time is everything.
And that's all I need right now.
July 22nd, 2012 at 08:24am