It is dark and the full moon shines from very high up. It all looks so peaceful and calm on the ground where I stand, the shadows creep the wind sings my hair blows. I am just walking, through the city where everyone sleeps, walking in the direction of the moon. I don't know where I am going, I don't know what city I am in, I don't even know how I got here.
I walk all the way down the road, at the end there is a metal fence, just low enough for me to see over, I lean across the fence and stare down into the calm blues of the water, the light dancing and the colors swirling , it is so peaceful, so confusing.
I get this undeniable urge to jump in, to swim as far as I can, I don't care where I end up as long as I make it. So this is what I do. I climb down over the railing and onto the rocks that are laying around the edges. I throw off all my clothes, the excitement rushing through me. I step forward into the ocean, it is shallow enough for me to stand here, the water come up to just above my hips, it is so cold and refreshing. The tail end of what must have been some very big waves lick at my waist.
I set off swimming away to a better world forgetting everything that has ever caused me harm or pain, materialistic, emotional or otherwise, I've just left it all behind, on the rocks. It will probably be found tomorrow by the police , they check the ocean edge every day for suicides, people don't seem to realize that it is shallow at the edge, they jump off in the illusion that they will float away with the tides and die out at sea, instead they jump of, hit a rock at a funny angle and are found the next day, nothing but a bloody mess.
I have no idea how long I have been swimming, I had my sight set on the rising sun but it doesn't get closer, no matter how far and fast I swim it won't get closer. I realize this and I start to cry, my silly, petty, emotional break out adding to the already polluted sea. My arms are tired, my legs are weak, my eyes are stinging and my heart is heavy. I need a break.
I stop and tread water while I try and find somewhere I can swim to that is land enough for me to catch my breath, I see no where. I turn a full circle, all the way around, 360 degrees but all I can see is the brilliant blue of the ocean.
I will just swim back the way I came, I think to myself, my subconscious telling me that I don't even know which way that is. I try and work it out in my head to shut her up. I was swimming toward the sun so I will face the sun turn around and swim away from it. My subconscious pipes up again, it doesn't work like that and you know it. I feel myself starting to get mad at her I shout and I scream. There is no one around that can hear me, I set of, not caring what direction I am swimming in anymore I can't just tread water forever.
Several times I stopped to get my breath back, each time treading water and telling myself, just let go, just die, it takes not even a minute to drown and you are already fatigued, you can't last much longer, I convince myself that this is right and I try to stop my legs from treading, I succeed for a fraction of a second before I wuss out and instinctively start to tread and swim.
I swam on for what felt like one hundred years when I started to feel tingly and strange like a thousand hands were stroking me and handling me, I started to squirm, it was too strange, to abnormal! Stop! I shouted, leave me alone! I was pulled underneath, my arms going every where my hair in my face, I was twisting my body from side to side in a pitiful attempt to get away. I was dragged deeper, the beautiful blue of the ocean getting steadily darker and darker until I passed out. Nothing but black, pitch black.
I could still hear things, I could hear whispering and the swish of water around my head. The pressure of the water was making me sleepy, so very sleepy. All I could think was that I should be dead, I shouldn't be breathing. I tried to open my eyes, I tried so hard to stay awake, every time I felt myself drifting I would yell in my head, jolt myself.
I suddenly felt something hard across my face, like I had hit something or I had been hit by something, and again, and again.
"Oh fuck" I heard a voice say
"What is it now?!" Another one replied
Another sharp smack to the face.
"This one is no good either" The first voice replied
"Fuck sake, let her go then"
"What out into the abyss? She'll die"
"You've just said she is dead anyway"
"No, I said she is no good, she is very much alive"
"Right well take her in then"
"Are you sure?"
"Dammit Frank! Just do it!"
"Y..y..yes okay"
I felt a tug on my ankles as I was dragged to wherever it was they were taking me, it felt nice, almost like I was floating, like I was high and just floating. A couple of moments later I fell and I hit something, my eyes flew open and I felt like a worlds worth of weight was lifted from my shoulders. My eyes burned as I tried to open them. That was when I heard his voice. His cruel laughter. His evil aura surrounded me and I felt sheer terror run through my veins. My eyes finally adjusted to the dull little room 100,000 feet underwater and I saw him.
"Hello, dear" He growled "I've missed you, it seems we always run into each other don't we"
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That was when I woke up, which was quite strange, I never usually wake up at this point but oh well. I know it is detailed, some people usually don't believe my dreams because of this but I have very vivid night terrors and unfortunately a very good memory when it comes to them. Anyway, this is my first dream journal entry.
Thanks for reading.
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