This is what MCR means to me.
Whenever I was 13 years old, back in 2010, I used to get bullied and made fun of by kids in my class. They made fun of me for my height, my weight, my physical features, my hair, just whatever. I was so upset to the point that I would self-harm. I would slit my wrists and thighs as a way to cope with all the pain.
Not only was I bullied verbally, I had a girl who would hit me. If I said something she didn't like, she would call me stupid and hit me. To add onto my self harm.
Kids would see my scars and they would laugh at me. "Look at this emo chick! Look at her scars! Look how stupid she is to hurt herself! Smelly Dwelly over here, stupid emo goth girl, look what she did to her wrists!" And I'm not even making any of that up. Those were all direct quotes from kids at my school.
Then after that, my parents went through a divorce. I watched my dad abuse my mom. I heard screaming every night. He ran out of my house once with a shotgun threatening to kill the girl he was cheating on my mom with. These weren't happy times.
One day, I was close to killing myself. I had heard of MCR by this time, but I never knew who the members were. I happened to have Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge in my stereo when I was ready to end it. Knife to my wrist, I was gonna off myself. Done. No one would have to deal with the stupid emo girl ever again.
Then I heard the song I'm Not Okay playing. I know, an odd song. I heard the lyrics, "I'm Not Okay, you wear me out." and I thought, "Hey, I'm really not okay. I can relate to this." I put down the knife and I started listening. The Ghost of You came on. I heard the lyrics cleary for the first time. The emotion put behind it, the way the music was so beautiful, the lyrics in the song.... I decided "Hey, before I do anything, I really wanna look these guys up." I don't know why. I was so close to ending it. Why did that stop me? I still don't know why. I think it was a sign that my life shouldn't end right now. Even though a simple lyric, "I can relate to that," boom. My life was saved.
After that, I learned more about the band. I acquired all of their albums. I made it a point to know everything about each of the members. I learned about Gerard Way, what he overcame. Through his quotes and his lifestyle change, and with his positive message, I learned that suicide is bullshit, don't piss your life away. He taught me to love myself and become a new person. Through the band members and the music, I DID become a new person. And now I'm dedicating my life to helping out my friends and strangers realize that life is beautiful and they have every reason to live. I WILL make a difference in this world. I WILL be a better person, and I WILL not stop until I've reached my goal.
My rant is over now. Happy International My Chemical Romance Day(:
~AcidxReign
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