Just a Girl with Daddy Issues

I've been tossing and turning every night trying to decide what the hell I want to do with my life. Some nights I think I have it all figured out, others I'm questioning whether it's right for me or not. Everyone, especially my fellow college mibbaians, have experienced the horrible feeling of doubt in themselves. We pick a major, pick a potential career, but is this really what we want to do with the rest our lives? I've decided that I want to be a teacher, but will I even be able to handle all those sticky, drooling two foot bastards? Or will I become the newest teacher horror story?
I feel like I'm pregnant.
I understand cold feet is natural and blah blah everything will work out and blah blah stop whining. But there's a very possible future dangling in front of my face that scares the shit out of me. It's the present for my dad; scraping for pennies, running from your problems, expecting everyone to accept your failure...I don't want that. I love my dad, don't get me wrong, but he's a very irresponsible person. No matter how hard I try and forgive him for what he's done to my mother, I just can't. He bestowed all the hardships and stress of having a child on her shoulders alone, forcing her to break her back just to keep me happy. I don't think I'm a burden and this isn't meant to be a self-pitious type of entry, but to have someone you considered your idol turn out to be nothing more than a facade is..damaging. To find out all those words you took to heart were wrong, to discover all those years of rebellion could've been easily avoided, to realize my mother's basket case tendencies were not unjust...ugh, I could go on forever.
My point to this ramble is I don't want to become a letdown. Everyone on my dad's side has these vices that bring them down, each of them almost representing the seven deadly sins. I don't want my vice to dictate my life. I don't want to make excuses for my failure, I want to prove to the world that I'm fucking Sam Adams, and you're all a bunch of faggots for doubting me. Now watch me as I speed away on my golden fucking unicorn. NO YOU CAN'T TOUCH IT.
I just wanna exceed expectations, Mibba. I wanna be a good Sam and make my momma proud.