July 23rd '12

Haven't posted in a bit, about everything's that's been going on. So I figure it's about time.

Let's see... that thing I talked about was applying to college and going on vacation, but this blog won't be as happy.

Part of it will be though :)

The day after Magic Mike came out, (I may be wrong on the date but I believe it was June 24th) my sister, her best friend Tiffaine, Tiff's sister Stephanie and myself all went to see it. It was a great movie. Very sexy, almost naked men. We had a great time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's and gossiped like crazy. Tiffaine has been a family friend for 15-ish years. Her and my sister went to high school together. She was my sister's lamaze coach when she was pregnant with her first child. She was also the person my sister called when she took too many Tylenol (or something similiar, I forget) and Tiff called her mom, my mom, and an ambulance. My oldest nephew's Godmother. I've known her my entire life.

A few years ago, her mother was murdered. By her step-dad that helped raise her and her sister. They had gotten into a heated arguement and he got out of control.He called the cops himself, (Once again, I could be wrong but this is what I'm under the impression as of right now). They arrested him. Later in his jail cell, he finally realized what he had done, went into shock, and had a heartattack. He died.

Tiffaine was several months pregnant with her first child, Mary. My sister was pretty tore up about it. Catrina, (my sis) had told Tiffaine's mother, Terry, that she was pregnant before she told our mother. She was still in high school and only 15 at the time. That's the only reason why. Our mother is amazing and we have a great relationship with her, just to clarify.

About a month before we went on vacation, Tiffaine's biological father passed away from natural causes. She then had a 4 year old, and at the funeral her daughter kept asking her why 'pawpaw don't talk no more'.

Yesterday morning, as my wife and I drove to her mother's house, my sister called me and asked if I was driving. Immediatly, I knew something was wrong. My mother and my sister both, when they cry, cry so hard that they can't see straight, therefore telling someone bad news when they're driving is an aweful idea. I told her no and she started crying. All I could make out was 'were in a car accident last night'. I screamed 'Who?' My heart dropped. I thought she said Josh and Lisa. Which are my brother and his wife. And by the way my sister was crying, it was a fatal wreck, for someone. But then she managed to say Tiffaine Rice. I, for a moment, felt relieved. It wasn't my brother, sister-in-law, and their 2 year old baby... I felt awful for feeling that way. And I still feel aweful.

I asked her what happened and she said "She was in a wreak and they're all gone." It was hard to understand her at this point, harder than usual. She meant there was someone else with her, it had to be. Then she added, "Steve and Mary died instantly but Tiffaine died at the hospital."

Her daughter, was only 4 years old. And now the entire family is gone. We were just hanging out with her a few weeks ago.

No one may read this, and that's fine, I just need a way to vent. Someone to scream at and ask 'why' to. Tiffaine was a good person, a great friend and sister and daughter. But for some stupid crazy reason she was taken from us. All of us. For no reason! And her daughter, oh god, that baby didn't do anything in her life to deserve this. I didn't know her husband, but she never spoke ill of him when he was alive, from what I understand, and my sister said that he was a good guy. I just don't understand.

That guy that murdered all those people at the movies... why is he still alive? He's still alive, his family can still see him. But Wednesday, we'll put Tiffaine and her poor baby in the ground.

I didn't believe in a god to begin with but this just makes everything so much worse. But, I like the idea that her, her husband, and her daughter are in a better place, with her mother and her father. And I wish so hard that I could believe that she's not just completely gone.

I'm not posting this because I want your sympathy, I don't. I just want answers as to why she's not here anymore but all these bad, horrible people are.

I plan on bringing a teddy bear to the funeral on Wednesday, for Mary. I'm not sure if that's something I should do or not. I've never been to a child's funeral.

Anyways, I guess this is all I wish to post here.