Release

I feel so alone. I feel as if I’m losing my best friend, my confident, my sister. She’s ignoring me and basically changed me for someone else while I’m suffering here. I’ve lost my appetite too. After that horrible conversation with him I just haven’t felt too great. I’m trying to keep on going but it’s so hard. I thought that what we had going was real. I really miss him. I’m always crying now, which is pretty annoying. I don’t know what to do. I’m so tired of not really fitting in. I’m so tired of not being good enough for certain people. And I know I don’t need to be, I know that I need to be my own person and love myself, the way I am but it just hurts sometimes and it’s so hard. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even think about me anymore, if he ever did thought of me in the first place. Why did he have to go and play me? I don’t get it. I feel like I can’t breathe. And I know that sounds pathetic and that this whole thing is pathetic but it’s just the way I feel. Also I’m always annoyed at my mom, I know that’s nothing new but it’s getting worst to point that when I hear her voice it makes me mad and gets me worked up and annoyed and shit and I can’t take it anymore. I’m taking everything out on her and I know it’s not fair but it seems as if every little thing she does and says annoys me and drives me mad. Also my dad being depressed and broke and always talking about it doesn’t really help. Basically what I’m saying here is that I feel like shit and I needed to get it out. I know nobody really cares about my problems because they have their own but I just didn’t know how else to get this out. Also I’m not trying to make myself look like some helpless victim or something like someone once told me I’m just frustrated and trying to gather my thoughts and just have some kind of release.