Having Babies

First of all, my mother and I had this wonderful conversation about babies. She said she wished they could screen for mental illness like depression and anxiety disorder while a woman is pregnant. She said if she had known I was going to have depression later in life she would have had an abortion. I'm not really sure how to feel about that. It kind of does hurt my feelings and I definitley don't agree with that. So I have depression, I'm a good person and I've been learning to deal with my issues as time goes on. I'm doing so much better. I think it's more selfishness on her part because she says she would have gotten an abortion so that she wouldn't have to deal with my issues my whole life. Well, sorry I'm such a burden.

What do you think? Would you no longer want your baby if you knew it was going to have depression later in life?

I'm not trying to start a debate on wether abortion is right or wrong here, that's totally your opinion.

Then we were talking about whether or not a person with HIV should be allowed to have a baby. There is a chance the baby could get HIV but there's also a chance they may not. I don't really feel like I can speak on that matter. My mum of course thinks they shouldn't be able to. She also thinks someone who has a lot of problems with depression and someone who is bipolar shouldn't have a child either. The thing is, I have depression, I have anxiety, I have bipolar symptoms...but I want kids so much. I'm not being selfish by having kids. I want to bring children into this world and love them more than anything. I know that they will stand a greater risk of getting a mental illness because of me but they still stand a chance of not getting it. I pray to God they don't inherit my issues but if they do I know I'll be able to help them as much as possible because I have been through them myself. I also would never have a child if I didn't think I was mentally stable enough to.

I don't like people telling me I shouldn't have a child because I have depression and my kid could inherit it or if they doubt that I can move past my issues enough to be a good parent. Let me tell you, I'm going to be the best parent I can be. I will love my kids more than anything. They won't be unwanted. They won't be accidents like I was. They will be wanted and loved. That is what's important. I want them to be happy and healthy. I of course hope my kids won't inherit my issues and if they get them I'll help them.

Maybe that's part of why my mum has the opinion she does. She was 19 and she hated the guy who is my father. She wasn't expecting to get pregnant, it was an accident. Her mother was a teen mom and today she even says that her kids ruined her life. Maybe it runs in our family. I can honestly say that won't happen to me. I plan on being with a woman so I'm going to have to work hard to get children someday. I work hard now. I am trying secure a good job and better myself so that someday when I do have kids they will have the best life possible. Sometimes I even feel upset when I see people who have babies by accident and they don't even want them nor do they actually try to be good parents. I'm going to have to work so much harder to be a mum someday and my children will be blessings, regardless if they have some issues or not.