Jealousy. + Boobs.

Has anyone ever had that horrible feeling?

The...the heart racing, stomach clenching, and the pressure to hold your tears in? Not...pressure, but like "Shit! I cannot cry. I. Cannot. Cry!"

It's hard to describe but you know, that's exactly what happens to me.

And you know, I want to be happy for my friend, but I just can't seem to be.

I can't seem to...not cry when they have what I wanted for so long.

This is why I hate being so hopeful. I hate, hate, hate hoping for something SO badly. But I do it anyway and I still get hurt.

I'm so jealous of people who get what I have been dreaming for so long.

And right now I feel like shit. I feel like just letting the tears fall.

I feel like ending it all.

I'm so tired of wishing, guys. I just can't wait for that day. The day when I'm free from my family. When I don't have to cover my body up or have to wear a scarf every single day.

I hate covering up. I have boobs, so what? I don't have to cover up with a scarf.

I can do whatever I want with MY boobs.