Self-Inflicted Writer's Block

When I say writer's block, I don't mean that I can't think of what to write next, I mean I'm literally blocking myself from writing (hence the self-inflicted portion), or in this case, updating. I'm freaking out. Every time I think about posting the next part to my story, Here To Stay, I get butterflies and I chicken out. I told myself that when/if I hit thirty subscribers, I would post it.... Oh, but it's okay, I don't have thirty subscribers... guess who has thirty-one. Yeah, this girl. I'm thrilled, really, but I'm beginning to think that karma is working against me. Maybe I should have picked a higher number like a million or something...

Anyways, it's all because the next few updates are like solid pieces of writing and then... sex. Bleh. I don't know if I can even write a sex scene-okay, well I did, but I don't know if it's any good and like ugh... What if everyone thinks it's fricken weird? Grrrr. I'm so conflicted. ...I know I have to post it eventually, I can't leave those people wondering. After all, if I was reading a book and the author was just like, No... i'm too shy, so I left out like three chapters... good luck figuring out what happened., then I'd be fuming mad. I'm going to be holding my breath when I post it, I guarantee. Maybe if someone yells at me again for not updating, then I'll do it. We'll see.

In other news, my hair is orange. While I was writing my last blog, I was actually getting my tips dyed... and now they're orange. They were originally going to be purple, but my hairdresser didn't want to use a permanent dye, she used a demi (whatever that means). For that reason, I guess it kind of stripped my hair, or it absorbed orange instead of purple... My hair seriously has a mind of it's own. I'm a little disappointed because now I look like another Grace in my school, the only other one I know (it's weird), and I don't get to see my favorite color on my hair.. I'll admit, it kind of looks nice, plus it matches the Flyers so... maybe I'll keep it for when the season starts again!

I also just wrote a poem about a boy I like. That seems so 1980's girly but-ugh-I like him so much it hurts. i wish I didn't. I'm thinking about posting it, but it's kind of lame... plus, poetry-writing isn't exactly my forte. Anyways, I'm glad I did it, because I feel a little better and happier. I can't explain it.

Today, I think I'm going to try and finish this book I'm reading, work more on a headband I'm making, get my brother off the bus, and brainstorm with my friend, Katie, for music video ideas. I haven't made one in forever, and now that my braids are out and I have my hair back, I feel like this is the best time to make a video!! Whoo.