I'm fine now.

Okay, so yesterday I felt like shit to put it nicely and yeah. All day yesterday I just watched Grey's Anatomy and sat on this really hard chair.

But you know, it made me feel better. Much better. Just sitting there and not having to worry about anything seriously helped me a lot.

This summer was hell for me. It didn't even have its moments. It was just a summer of feeling shitty, having breakdowns, and realizing things.

I, honestly, don't believe in God. I think it's sweet how some people love him. It shows that they have hope and they believe always have someone by their side.

But I just can't make myself believe that there is someone up there who loves me no matter what. It seems unrealistic, but that's just my opinion.

But I do believe in love. I believe things do get better. Some day, one day, things will be better for me. I'll no longer be afraid or alone.

But until that day comes, I'll just wait patiently. I will break along the way, but I will make it someday.

I'm tired of being tired and upset. I want to be happy. I just can't make myself laugh. Like...truly, wholeheartedly laugh.

But I am trying, so yeah... I'm done being emotional.

So now I will listen to Birthday Cake and dance.

Goodbye.