Rant.

This is to keep me from losing my mind. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. Hell, I've already lost half my mind. Things, well everyTHING is going to shit for me. I can't even keep anything. Important friendships are slipping away from me, and.. I don't know what to do. I'm confused.

I want everything to work out, but I can't just sit here and be paranoid for the rest of my life. I guess, it takes some time for things to be how I want them. Who am I kidding? They never will be. I will always be that one friend, that things didn't work out with, but almost did. That one friend that is always so god damned happy but miserable. that one friend where you can tell that you love and like or whatever, but know that it won't work out because of distance.

I guess this just pertains to everything. But mostly one particular friendship/relationship/whatevership I have with someone I think I am losing. This has happened once before. But it was due to the state of things.

and now?

Now I just feel as though I'm invisible.