Okay, a very pressing topic has been brought to my attention. Cocoa Puffs. Okay, first of all, I HATE Cocoa Puffs! With all of my heart I despise them!
Not only do they look like bunny poop, they taste like processed chocolate and it’s AWFUL. Oh and I bet that that fucking bird they have in all of the commercials makes the cereal with his shit or something! Like he as a line of his offspring crapping in boxes and sending them to be eaten by the human population!
I’m surprised that most people who eat Cocoa Puffs aren’t diabetic! Is there even ANY nutritional value to bird shit?! Oh, and that bird! That bird is such a fucking twat! OKAY, SIR, IF YOU ARE SO OBSESSED WITH COCOA PUFFS, TELL ME HOW YOU’RE NOT OBESE!!!!!!!! Really, is that God forsaken bird anorexic?!?! Does he vomit out his own poop after every commercial?!?
Everywhere I go, he follows! THAT BIRD HAS IT OUT FOR ME! He terrified me as a child and now he haunts my nightmares! I had a nightmare that that fucking beast killed me! I was walking down the street, being all casual and such. I see the bird and walk past him. Next thing I know, he grabs me from behind. So, that’s unacceptable because the last time I checked, I was in charge here! Then he’s pulling me across the road and I can’t scream and some little boy comes to try and help me but he can’t so he runs away and I want to yell at him but I can’t scream and then he comes back with help but it’s no use! And then I ended up dying!!!!
THAT BIRD SHOULD BE IN A MOTHER FUCKING PRISON GETTING SKULL FUCKED BY MICHAEL VICK!
And, seriously, he’s not “coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs”! He probably has some kind of bowel infection from that shit that’s spread to his brain! He passes it on from bird to bird and they’re all like, “oh, we’re coo-coo”, and I’m like, “No, you’re mentally ill!”
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