I'm really crunched for time, I have to leave in a few minutes to go to the gym with my boyfriends mom, but I figured I'd post a quick blog because I have a lot on my mind...
First thing, is my weight. I know a lot of girls are unhappy with their bodies because of photoshop in magazines and all over the place, but I actually do need to lose some. I'm almost on the edge of being overweight, so I need to lose about 20 pounds. Really, I only need to lose probably ten to be in the healthy range. I just want to lose the extra ten for myself. Dieting is a lot harder then I thought it would be. I really didn't realize I snacked so much until I started actually writing it down. I only ate about a hundred or so calories over, but I never exercise. I just sat at home, letting the fat build up. Blah, this is going to be a fun few weeks.
Money is another thing on my mind. I get having a job at 16 to pay for my wants and stuff, but I don't think I should have to also worry about my mum being able to pay for the house and my siblings. I've been trying to get my boyfriend to refer me at his job (telefundraising/marketing), but he hasn't. I understand that, because it's his bit of time away from me and everyone else and such. It'd be nice though.
I haven't seen my dad in about five months. Well, I've seen him for 15 minutes here and there, but never actually spent time with him. He stopped by today because I texted him asking him to because I really miss him. We talked about my siblings and grandparents, just kind of catching up, and he gave me 40$ for some shoes for working out. He says he'll give me a few more bucks for clothes for school next time he see's me.
Why I haven't seen him is because I posted some nasty stuff about my step mom and I've been to stubborn and childish to apologize. I just did, and now I feel really ridiculous for not doing it sooner. He's going to pick me up after he gets back from SD on Sunday, and I'm going to surprise my siblings(: I can't wait to see their reactions.
It'll be a bit difficult going back to his house though. I'm so used to spending all my time at my mums with my boyfriend. I don't do anything else really... I play PS3, read, write, and spend time with him. I have no friends. I moved here two years ago and I've still never really clicked with any body. I don't really make an effort though, so I guess its not anyone else's fault but my own.
Lately I've been worrying about my relationship with my boyfriend though. We don't really do stuff. I ask to go out for a walk or the movies or something like that, but he always says no and we stay in my room and watch Netflix... or have sex. And the amount we do it, kind of worries me. There are days that I really don't want to, but he knows what turns me on, so we end up doing it anyway. I talked to him just last night about it and he sounded really upset at himself and promised to lay off it for a while. I love him so much... I don't want anything to ruin that...
If you've made it this far... thanks(: Comment if you have any advice for anything I mentioned.<3
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