Day 10: Something you're afraid of.

Would you believe me if I said I almost forgot to post this? Considering how I've been putting up to three per day, I'm surprised at myself ahah.

Anyway, I don't have many fears.. Needles, bugs, spiders, clowns. None of those scare me. Certain situations have scared the shit out of me. But there aren't many specific things that scare me, ahah.

Well, I get anxious more than scared. I forget EVERYTHING, very important dates, very important things that I have to do, things I have to bring/give to other people.. Three times I forgot to give my sick grandparent a pill that they had to take at an exact time and I blame myself for their death because two weeks later, they died. Because of my forgetfulness, I'm constantly anxiety ridden that I am going to indirectly kill someone else.

I'm absolutely horrified of is a kid who's under my watch getting hurt. I think that might fall under anxiety too, though. Whatever, I'm listing it as a fear. I've constantly watched kids/babysat, but I'm always nervous that, God forbid, something is going to happen.

It's weird; I don't over think. If anything, I don't think enough. I'm extremely impulsive, but when it comes to kids under my care, I'm watching their every move.

Other than that, there aren't many things I'm legitimately afraid of! I never thought about it like that. I'm more anxious than fearful, but those could sometimes go hand in hand. Regardless I'd say my biggest fear is being around little children, and killing people. I don't go a day without thinking about my grandpa. I've actually never told anyone outside of my family that story, ahah. I don't know for sure if that's what killed him, but I do hold myself accountable for it. I'm so distracted and forgetful, it's actually embarrassing.

I got a little sidetracked, but.. I guess I'm done with this day, ahah.