(day three) how have you changed

first of all play this song if you dont click out of here because you dont deserve to keep reading tbh this is my favourite song right now (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SASZf_aRq8g)

sorry for the second blog i'm just trying to catch up man these "challenges" are a bitch but alright this could be a big one mostly because it's so fucking vague so maybe i'll do how i've changed in the last two years because two years ago i was a sexless teenager with bad hair who'd never had a boyfriend and i never wanted to smoke (i'm laughing) and i remember reading too much and not having enough friends and that was right around the time i liked my best friend which in most cases never ends well and i was definitely one of those cases

i feel like i've changed the most in the sense of this mindset i have for myself now, i dont want to be shy and i dont want to be awkward anymore, i dont want to pretend i have to stay at home because my mom's being a bitch and wont let me hang when really i just dont wanna leave the house and have to deal with people. there's no point and i'm pretty sure i've said this before somewhere but life is already really fucking small and pointless when you think about it i mean the circle of people i surround myself with on a day to day basis is so small compared to what the rest of the world has to offer and if you're not enjoying the way you're living then there's no point which is why i do what makes me happy and i dont think i thought that way before because i was living in the past constantly. i hate being vague about this but something ""happened"" to me when i was younger in regards to some kind of abuse i dont want to get into it but my first boyfriend (we started dating last summer and broke up after about five months i wish i could explain how much i loved him and i wish he knew how much i did cause i dont think he ever understood it fully) really kind of got me rethinking the way i was spending my life moping and holding back because of what had happened and i owed it to myself to wake up and start giving a shit about what my days looked like

i'm such a fucking rambler but in my opinion i'm a better person than i was two years ago. i feel like about three people are going to read this blog (hannah, lisa, and helga) but how have you guys changed man
August 13th, 2012 at 11:46am