(day four) things i want to say to 3 people

alright so it's almost midnight which is usually the point where i lurk on mibba because there's nothing else to do and i think i'm going to leave these unnamed just because

one: i really wish i didnt fuck up the way i did because there were so many things we had going for us i mean we were going to meet up in san francisco when i was down there for vacation and you were going to fly up here with your aunt and every time i read our conversations on aim which is way too fuckin often i dont feel sad mostly i kind of feel empty not in a depressed way i just feel this loss i cant explain it and i wish at the time i wasnt as scared as i was and i miss texting you until seven in the morning and i miss calling you "spice" and me being "peaches" because we tried thinking of the gayest nicknames for each other and a few months after we stopped talking your birthday passed and i had a text saying "happy birthday, i miss you a lot" open probably all day and i never sent it and i really want to know what would have happened if i had but you have a boyfriend and so do i and life goes on

two: i love you and you're actually asleep right next to me and if you knew i was writing a blog entry about what i'd say to five people you'd probably either call me a faggot or throw your pillow at me and that fact alone is why you're perfect and one of the most important people in my life and i know things are going to change a lot in about a month but let's keep doing what we're doing and enjoy what we've got

three: you're great and you did a great job raising me all by yourself and i'm glad you have a boyfriend now and i'm glad you're happy

this is pretty dumb to anyone else but at this point i'm getting the sense that these blogs are more for me because this stuff is really interesting to write out. and if you dont like johnny flynn then i genuinely dont understand how you're existing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-jFR6qaf18