something that makes me feel better - aside from supernatural

because let's be fuckin honest supernatural NEVER fails to make me feel better and if you're not watching it i could give you a million reasons why you should (helga expect that comment later)

but you know when you have one of those days where you wake up too early and you're not next to anyone because you actually fell asleep at home and alone in your room so that alone is a reason to feel off already and the house is empty because everyone left for work without waking you up to say goodbye or to not sleep all day and you just feel kinda lonely because whenever my day starts that way which isnt that often anymore i'll smoke a bowl and go downtown and i take the bus and fuck i cant even explain how much i love taking the bus as opposed to driving because being surrounded by people who are all going the same place you are but for a different reason is such an interesting feeling to me and i'll have my ipod playing something by neon indian or the black keys and i'll look out the window at the same buildings i've seen a hundred times before or i'll try and start a conversation with the person next to me

it's being alone and feeling independent and feeling like i dont have anyone to answer to or to go back home to is what makes me feel better because no one knows who i am and i'm not downtown with anyone and it's just the fact that i could be anybody i want if that makes sense. usually i'll eat something from a food cart and go down to the bus stop by the bridge and sit there and watch the people who are coming and going and i'll bring the notebook that has all my "interstate" shit in it and try and work with that (i actually did this on tuesday and some guy asked what i was writing about and immediately it was like fuck how can i answer this without sounding stupid so i said "it's just something i've been working for a long time" and he asked if it was a story and i told him yes and he said what about and i told him basically "it's about two guys who want to do the same thing with their lives but it's not for the right reason and they dont realize it until the end when it's too late and they have to leave each other" and the way he looked at me omfg and he was just like "you're gay?" and i started laughing goddamn it was funny)

this kinda got away from me but the point is being downtown and being outside and being surrounded by dozens of people i could talk to or things to experience just makes me feel better

August 16th, 2012 at 10:25am