Why is dance no longer fun: The result.

I recently just went and visited my dance teacher to talk to her about classes for next year. If you read my blog before this one, you would know why I was so upset about everything.

Well, I talked to her and I was semi-satisfied. She told me that the only reason I wasn't allowed to take advanced was because I had so many other extra activities that I do outside of dance. I didn't even think about those at the time.

Basically what made me feel better was the fact that she wasn't intentionally trying to hold me back. She was just worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up mentally, not physically. So, in all, I felt better that she does indeed think that I could handle it, because I knew all along that I could.

What worried me, though, was that she said she would let me try the advanced class free of charge. I know, I know. Why would that worry me? I just got what I wanted, didn't I? Well, in a way, yes and no.

See, she told me that the girls in the advanced jazz class, that I will be trying out for the first month, have already been working on choreography all summer. Now, I'll be behind when we start classes. Oh, sweet lord. That's just perfect... I'm worried about being behind. She already told me that it's hard to keep up if you miss a class. I haven't even started classes and I'm already behind! Gaah.

The other reason as to why I wasn't completely satisfied was because I was put, yet again, in two teen classes. I said already that I wasn't being challenged enough in those classes. But, my schedule wouldn't allow me to take advanced classes because I can't miss a class. Missing a class would mean I would get very far behind and it would be hard to keep up.

Now, don't get me wrong here. I do like the teen classes in a way. I have friends in those classes and I feel good about my dancing in those classes because I'm constantly being used as an example of how to do a certain move correctly, or I'm put in the front so all the other girls can watch me and stay in time with the music and remember the steps.

But, again, I feel like I'm not being pushed enough and I'm not learning anything new. Basically, my problem here is that I can't seem to have the best of both worlds. I'm not Hannah Montana, unfortunately. So, I want to keep dancing, and I want to improve, but I can't do that without cutting off all my other activities that I do outside of dance. I have the skill, but not the time.

I think it should be a generally good year for me. It's my 10th year and I'll be getting a trophy and then it's also my senior year. I look forward to being able to help the younger girls in my classes and I like taking on that responsibility but at the same time, I'm sad that I can't progress as a dancer. Oh, well. I suppose there is always next year.