20 & 21 - something I wonder about/proud of

For those of you who don't know this (so pretty much all of you), I'm adopted. I was adopted at birth along with my twin brother, by the same woman. I'm pretty fucking lucky that we were able to stay together throughout the whole process. I don't really remember a specific time where my mom told us that we were adopted. I just have always known. I've never had hard feelings about it at all, and I am so incredibly thankful that it happened and she's my mother and always will be.

But I do have other siblings.

They're half siblings, but I have an older brother that I know of, as well as a younger sister. The agency contacted my mom when Vinny and I were about 6 asking if she would take the new baby, but we couldn't swing it financially at the time, and the father of this baby (different from my biological father) didn't want the adoption. I'm sure that I have more siblings as well.

I guess, sometimes, I wonder, "what if I knew them? What if they were part of my life?" But having Vinny with me gives me a sense of completeness that I'm not sure I'd have otherwise. Wondering about my siblings is usually fleeting and it isn't something that consumes my brain a whole lot, but it's there.

Are any of you here adopted?

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As for something I'm proud of...hmmm.

I mean, in general I guess I'm proud of the way I take care of Vinny, and my grades in school. But I guess to be more specific today...I'm really proud of my beautiful girlfriend.

I'm proud that she's mine, that I have her in my life. She could be with anyone else that she wanted, but she chose me for some reason.

I'm proud that I'm the one who ended up with her, and not her ex.

I'm proud that I get to kiss her every day and tell her how much she means to me.

I'm proud that I get to hold her hand at the grocery store, and open her door for her at the car (when she lets me, that is) :3

I'm just proud of her, and of being able to share the last 10 months with her. :)
August 23rd, 2012 at 04:50am