The Year 2012.

Well what can I say? This year hasn't been the greatest for me. In fact this year has been the worst yet.

My family argue more, I'm completely stressed out a lot of the time and things keep dying on me. This year I've had four birds come into my care, two babies, two adults, and I've not been able to save a single one. Mice and rats are a different matter since I can get them off of the cat before he hurts them. But I can handle the deaths.

Well I could.

But this year I've lost too much. In the space of a month I had five family deaths.

My Great Grandma Laird.
My hamster Snowball.
My cat Mildred.
My Best Friends Dad (like my second Dad)
My oldest Hamster Weeble.

I'm usually fine with death. It doesn't bother me but after losing my cat Mildred I can honestly say I lost a part of me I won't be able to get back. I haven't been the same since. She was my best friend and will be until I go find her again. But I can't do much about that. No matter how much I want to.

My parents won't allow me to get another kitten. My Mum is fine with it but my Dad is set against it, claiming that we have enough pets in the house already. But they don't seem to understand how much I need it. She used to sleep in my room at night and she'd sleep on me for hours, never leaving me alone when I was upset or ill. And now that she's gone I don't really know what to do with myself haha. Don't get me wrong, nothing could ever replace her. But if I could find something to busy myself with, something I was responsible for, maybe I could move on a little.

I don't want your sympathy. I don't need it thank you. I'm just feeling that tiny bit down today and no matter how hard I try I cannot shake it. I just can't take anything else dying on me. No matter how small.

Roll on 2013. Maybe it'll be better.

Emily.