Achy Breaky Heart

Heartbreak sucks. That’s the simplest way I can put it - it sucks. You cry and cry - or, in cases such as mine, you try your hardest to do everything but - over someone who was never worth your time to begin with. You miss the little things they used to do, like making fun of your passions, holding you close to protect you from the cold, squeezing your hand every so often just to let you know they’re happy to be holding it, or even just the way they looked at you. You comfort yourself by listening to a strict playlist of break-up songs, and break-up songs only (Avril Lavigne was my personal choice) and steer clear of all love songs and romantic movies. You avoid places you once went together, and every little thing reminds you of them. You look for their face in every crowd. Every time your phone lights up, you hope it’s them, asking for a second chance, telling you they made a terrible mistake in ever leaving you.

Of course, you know that will never happen. And part of you hopes that it doesn’t, because hey, how humiliating would that be? Taking someone back two weeks after they dumped you? They dumped you for a reason, right? But you still miss them, regardless. You miss holding their hand, their unexpected texts and the excitement of hanging out with them. All of it - it just sucks.

I’ve always built myself up to be this incredibly strong and durable person - and it isn’t a lie, I am strong, I am durable, I don’t take kindly to being walked all over, and if I think you’re being an idiot, I’m going to let you know how I feel about it. I don’t take bullshit, and I never, ever allow myself to get upset over someone who wasn’t worth my time, and I would never get back with someone who hurt me. So, when I started thinking about how I would react to him wanting me back…I discovered that this boy, this incredibly stupid and annoying boy, had cracked my un-crackable armor. I mean, it’s not like me to even want someone back in the first place. I had always hated relationships until he came along and turned my life into one big drama-filled whirlwind. I hated it, I did, I hated all of the drama, but I loved the impact he’d had on my life, and how much he’d changed me.

So, I suppose, even though I now detest him and everything he stands for, (one of the more common side-affects of being heartbroken) I could never regret meeting him. He brought out the best in me, and for that, I can only be grateful. I guess, if this world was to be without heartbreak, it would be a pretty boring world. Of course, it would be a blissful world, but I guess those lessons are there to be learned for a reason. We learn as we grow, and grow as we learn. It’s a vicious cycle, but, unfortunately, it’s a necessary one.