Tears Don't Fall

Things have been pretty good, so I haven't needed to rant anywhere, but right now, all I want to do is scream from the top of my lungs. So many walls, so many little time to punch them all.

I'm going to use fake names for this, even though I know none of my friends will see this, I just want to so I feel more comfortable.

There is a guy called Sam. I started to like Sam a while ago, even though he is horrible to me. I have made posts about him here before. He has a friend called Jay. Me and Jay started talking, and he is super nice to me. I'm still talking to Sam though. I still like Sam though. A lot. Then I meet up with Jay and have a really good time, and I start thinking, hey maybe Sam would be a better match for me.

So I like both.

Deep down, however, I know that it will always be Sam that I have more feelings for.

Recently I found out Jay likes me. A lot. I then, in the heat of the moment told him I like him back.

I haven't spoken to Sam since, and me and Jay have been talking all the time.

I THEN LOG ON TO FACEBOOK, ALL HAPPY, READY TO TALK TO JAY, AND BOOM. Picture of Sam. Right there. Top of my screen. Feels like my heart imploded on itself. I can't even breathe when I see it.

That was the moment I knew that I could never do anything with Jay, because it will always be Sam I have the feelings for. No matter what I do now I'm going to end up hurting Jay, and I don't want that at all.

The worst thing.

Jay lives ages away, and I would barely see him.

Sam is coming to college every day.

I quit.