Venting about a boy...

I still can't understand why I have to wait so long for Riley. First I had to wait a whole year and seven months just to have him for three months, and now I have to wait two years for him. I mean I guess a lot of people do a ton of waiting for loved ones. Some wait for their lovers when they join the military. Others are long distance and haven't even met in person.

I just wish that I could have him. Sometimes I feel like the three months of having him were just a little teaser life gave me, and I get mad at it for doing that.

I had someone who was so perfect even with all his imperfections. He never remembered anyone's birthday including my own. He had selective hearing and wouldn't realize it. He was a little dramatic, overbearing, and loud, but I loved him for all of that. I need that.

I need that person who sometimes expected more from me than I was able to give him. I want that guy back. I just wish he'd leave Maryland and would come home to California, but I know he won't. He'll be there for another 431 more days.

I'll just have to keep writing him letters because that's the only communication we're allowed to have. At least I can write him whenever I please. He can only write me once a week.

This is definitely not what I was expecting to happen when my crush on him first bubbled up. I often wish I could go back to the day when I first laid eyes on him. He was sitting on that couch, not really noticing me but watching the movie on the screen.

I miss him.