I lied, I loved you and you think I hate you.

Sitting in the floor of the library at school...I am a people watcher.
And on top of that, I react to people I see and meet.

I have been watching the show Awkward and I realize, my life is really awkward. I mean I want to go and sit in the school library for an hour and a half before my next class ALONE instead of going and finding someone to talk to because I am scared.

Is that sad or what? I mean and when I think about the fact that someone might come up to me and try to talk to me, I freak out because I am so shy I don't want to speak. I really don't know how I got a boyfriend. I mean that first night we met, I couldn't even look at him or barely talk and he thought I didn't like him, but I was already falling for him by then.

I am socially awkward. One of my friends, it took my 3 months after knowing him before i would look him in the eye, and honestly it's too personal for me and I don't wan to confront that. not really anyway.

I see some people that are so confident that they can just be talking in class and say some random thing and not care that it could be wrong or it sounds stupid... but me? If I am not completely sure that I am right, I won't speak up. And I think that is my problem.

I am not confident in myself to believe that I know something or can be right, although my friends say I think I am always right, I don't because I may argue as to why I might be right, I never know if I am.

Does being Socially Awkward make me seem intimidating? Because though I am scared at someone coming up to me, No one does. So am I intimidating or everyone on some level just as awkward as me?