So, is it weird that I always imagine what it would be like to run into someone who recognizes me from Mibba? I know that I'm not really popular on here, but every time I catch a person I don't know looking at me, I can't help but think "Are they from Mibba? Do they recognize me from my picture? I wonder what they're thinking right now." I always think that it would be super interesting to see what people think of me. Especially someone who's read some of my work (which is a very personal thing to me) and then seeing how I am in person.
Do I match what they thought I would be like? Did they even care to think about what I would be like in real life?
I think that I'm really different from my author style in person. I'm not sure if that's a thing thought. I can't really analyze my personality and put it up against my writings because I know everything about me and to me, it's harder to see them as separate entities. They are both just extensions of myself, a way of expression.
Have any of you ever run into someone that you only knew from a website? Like, randomly. Total coincidence. If so, I'd really like to hear some stories. If not, then you can just say whatever you like. If you say anything at all.
I also sometimes feel that I am mostly just writing to myself on here. I see stories and poems and blogs and all of these things on this website that have so many views and recommendations and comments, and then I come to my stuff and see very little in comparison. Majority of my work gets either no comments, or very little. The one with the most comments is my only finished story (only the second full-length story that I've finished in my life by the way) The Notebook.
I actually just got a comment on The Notebook today. Totally made my day because I finished that story over a year ago. That means that someone had enough interest to actually look up my story (search tags most likely, I know that I do that all the time), and like it enough to finish it all the way through. I know that I have grown as a writer (I went back and read the first 15 chapters for fun earlier, and I kept seeing grammatical and spelling errors that really should be fixed, amongst other things), and it was nice to see that something I'm not really confident about could be appreciated in that way.
I think that the less feedback I get on something, the less confident I am about my work. Even if people enjoy it, not getting comments or recommendations makes me feel like no one liked it enough to put forth the effort to actually leave a comment, or liked it enough to recommend it to others. If I don't get any readers, then I feel that it is so bad that people don't even feel the need to give it a chance. It's so hard, for me, to be a writer and not know what people outside of my friends think of my work. For some reason, I feel a constant need for my work to be approved in some way, or even recognized as existing.
It can be super frustrating.
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Anyways,
have a wonderful day lovlies! (the rest of today as well as tomorrow, and the next day, and the next)
~Paytonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
(P.S. I'm not really sure why I sign my name at the bottom. It's not a letter or comment or something.)
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