I feel like I have been awake this entire week. I am just getting over a massive cold. So unfortunate that I couldn't ever get to sleep until around 3am, no matter how close death felt ha ha. So shocking. And then I would be up by 7:30am, or 8am at the latest, for the baby.
See, my sister has moved out of home. And left her son behind.. Of course, since I do not have a full time job, I am the new mother. I have been looking after him for about six weeks now. Sh*t, I don't even get any money from my sister for this. This just isn't right..
My boyfriend, Mike, made me realise how trapped I am, well, no. I already knew I was trapped here at home, but he made me admit it. I cried so hard, it had only been a month, but it was like... Ball and chain. I can't take baby out anywhere. Mike said I needed to stand up and get a move on with my own life, sister was holding me back from living. And yes, be that as it may, I love my nephew to bits, and I can't just leave him, like his mother did, and what would happen if I were to get a job? I don't know. She sometimes takes baby in the weekend and I am FREE, or sometimes, she just doesn't turn up to pick him up, and I could throw myself through a window.
I miss out on so much quiet time with my boyfriend, which we seriously need now. He's so understanding, but frustrated I know, if he asks to stay the night, he knows my reply is usually, "of course, but you know I'll be tired, and will be with Max most of the night.."
And then when I get to bed, we stay up all night because we have so much to catch up on and er... other stuff, resulting in more zombie like days ahead.
But he does his best to interact with my nephew, teaches him to Hi5, or helps him eat his toast. It's cute.
I miss out on time with the few friends I have. Although none of us actually have jobs to afford to hang out, (it's expensive to all meet up in town all the time, we live so far from each other.) So I guess for now it's ok, but since I've become mother, we have seen each other less. I'm so excited for tomorrow night though, I have booked us a table at a restaurant down in the Viaduct.
I'm shattered. I don't look after myself too well, because I have so many other people to care for. I run the house now. It's my turn to stay up and make my mother's lunch for work, keep the house clean. There's my nephew, Mike, and my two brothers. They all need looking after.
Mike has a new job now, which I'm super happy about, one, for his sake of course. But two, selfishly, also really happy because it means I'm going to have just a little bit more time to myself.. Is that bad to say?
I feel this all made no sense. That makes me giggle.
There have been no jobs in my casual makeup artist job. Boss said winter is always really quiet, although may have a feature film to work on in a few months. $$$$
Feels so good to have dyed my hair again, it faded so quickly and man it was orange! Yuck. I love the MYHD brand, that stuff made my hair so soft.
Goodnight all. I'm dead.
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