I Hate Myself.

I know you hear all these little drama queens say that all the time, but I legitimatly hate myself. Every little thing drives me mad and disgusts me. There are SO many flaws. Not just in my apperence either.

I hate my personality. I hurt everyone. That saying "If you can't love yourself, how are you gonna love somebody else?" is very true. I hurt the people I "love" because I get so mad at something I've said or done and I take it out on them. I'm so mean to my boyfriend, its rediculous. I treat him like shit, but he still sticks around...

I especially hate how I look. My eyes are too small, my nose is too pudgy, my face is too round, my cheeks too fat. I have no actual curves. Its all fucking fat. I had a bit of an hour glass before I gained 15 pounds over the summer, now I'm a fucking box. I hate my stomach, it doesn't stick wayyy out, theres nothing you can actually grab, but I still think I'm so fat. There's no curves there! It makes me feel like a man with giant balls of fat on my chest (the only "good" thing from gaining weight).

I'm sorry, I got stuck on the weight thing. I don't like my thighs, they are covered with cellulite, just like my ass. Mom calls them dimples, but no. No need to sugar coat it. I don't like my neck either, I don't know what about it, but it just is gross and awkward looking to me. Probably because of my weird shaped head... I don't like my lips at all either, one side comes in more then the other on the top lip. And they are always chapped.

Behind my lips are my ugly teeth. I swear I'm losing my bottom two teeth again. My teeth are just too gapped, yellow, and my breath always smells (I brush every day, twice, and I don't smoke..)

I used to take tons of pictures when I was bored or with friends, but now every time I do, I hate what I see. I always find something, whether big or small, wrong. I hate it. I wish I liked how I look, but I probably won't until I lose 30 pounds or something. Maybe my face will thin out, my neck won't look so weird, I'll get some feminine curves and get rid of some cellulite... It'll take forever to do that though... Six months at least, but that's not exactly healthy.

I'm sorry, I'm just ranting about stupid bullshit. Another thing I do. If you made it this far, I'm sorry for wasting your time. (: