Will I Ever Be Able To Get Over My First Love?

The past two weeks have been the most stressful but amazing two weeks of my life regardless of anything bad that happened. I was able to experience my first love. Yes the relationship that I waited 17 years for. It all started out amazing and I was probably the most happiest girl than ever before. The two of us Skyped together for the whole weekend before school started and actually stayed up for 4 1/2 hours talking to each other there. I constantly was telling him that I was nervous for when school actually started because we would be meeting each for the first time on the first day of school exactly right in the morning. We spent countless hours talking about things we were going to do as a couple like go to the movies together, cuddle, go to the power puff game in November, take me to Senior Prom, and homecoming. It was just perfect and I knew It was going to be a relationship that I've been dreaming of since I was little. When the first day of school approached I was nervous but I knew it was going to be okay. When I got inside school I looked for him and there he was. I was quite but we hugged each other right away, which I thought was so adorable. We decided to go sit in "his spot" or "our spot" as we both started to call it until the bell rang to go to our advisory. Luckily our advisories were right near each others so he was going to walk to me up there. When the bell rang we got up and asked me if we wanted to hold hands and I didn't hesitate at all I just reached my hand out and he grabbed it. I was starting to feel so happy and I couldn't believe it was happening. When we got to my advisory we stood by the door for awhile just talking really quite but it was cute. Sooner or later we both hugged and he gave me a soft kiss on the cheek and said I'll see you after since he was going to walk me to my math class like he had promised me on Skype. When I got into advisory I felt like a whole different person I was really out going and was talking to people in my advisory that I never really talked to before. I was starting to feel so confident. After advisory I found him waiting down the ramp for me and this huge smile grew across my face. Our arms locked as well held hands together walking to math class. When we got to math we let go as he hugged me and placed another soft kiss on my cheek in front of the door where the whole class had saw it but hey I was absolutely fine with it. That was really the only time of day that I saw him until the end of the day where I met him outside of his Earth Science class and we went over to "our spot" or "his spot" whatever you want to call it. The two of us sat up against the wall and cuddled together while holding hands. It was one of the best things that could happen to me I loved it. The same thing happened for the past 2 days and soon he wanted to start kissing me on the lips so he asked if we could try the kissing on the lip thing. I was fine with it. But the one day that I thought everything was going good.. 4 days into the relationship and I was okay, I felt rushed a little bit but I knew I'd get over it but before we said goodbye to each other for the day, he decides to pull me in and make out with me…. it was only 4 days into the relationship and I had never made out with anyone and I didn't know what the hell I was doing… too me it felt like we were just playing some sort of wrestling game with our tongues and it definitely wasn't what I thought a "make out" was like. I had to cut the relationship off I felt rushed. After that we didn't talk for about 2 days and then I felt bad so I texted him saying I was sorry,etc but he just bitched me out so I was like whatever I'll get over it.. but on Monday at lunch he texted me saying hey and that he was sorry, etc. So we talked about it at lunch and that we would try it again but this time at least slower than what we were doing. I started to feel so comfortable because we would hug and hold hands but it wasn't as it was in the first relationship but of course he started to feel like we were just friends and nothing else. He started to be a dick, etc all about it. I told him I wanted a more serious relationship and by that I meant not just at school.. I wanted to go out different places with him movies, etc you know? But he didn't know what the hell I meant and started crap.. well I started crap. I could have just talked to him about it. But he could have at least waited a week or two and I would be used to it but he couldn't wait. So now here I am depressed as fuck wanting him to come back to me.. I see him everyday in the halls at school and I can't function I become sick to my stomach just want him back. I don't even know what to do anymore. I don't think I'll ever get over him.. I just want him back in my life. Babe, please that's all I'm asking come back. I love you and I'll always love you. Just please let's give it another try…