I'll complain now -

so i’ve moved back to to my last school/town this past summer, which i thought would be good, until i actually got back here and realized how shitty life is here.

So last school year seemed shitty (being in a completely new town and school). I had no friends, nothing to do with my spare time, and I wasn’t quite positive on what was going on around me at all times. So I got back here, and I now just miss the solitude.

I miss not having to prove anything to anyone, I miss not having to act a certain way, I miss not being questioned about every change in my everyday attitude. I miss not having friends and having time to myself to just think, and contemplate, and be myself. I miss being able to be myself when I talked to people. I wasn’t trying to be out spoken or obnoxious or excited when I got up in front of people or while being approached by a stranger like I am here. Here, where everyone is familiar, I just feel like I have to be that same old loud mouthed prick I am when ever I get just a little bit of the spot light. In my last school/town I had to act on the spot and see how I really am with people and crowds. It might have been a little uncomfortable at times, but at least I was comfortable with myself. Here, I just make myself sick.

Should I even care to bring up the whole Wyatt situation as well?

Just send me back, please.

I’m also smoking a lot more. Like, cigarettes and weed. It’s almost getting to be too much, but with all this stress and self loathing, it’s hard to make myself say no.