Stereotypes Within

When I walk into my house it's like I'm kind of shut out, but sometimes I'm still in. Does that make any sense at all? First we have me...the weirdo who randomly walks up to people to introduce herself and then I'll be their friend. I'm a theater geek who loves acting, reading, and writing. In fact that's pretty much all I think about during the day. I have so many stories running through my head, that sometimes I don't even know which one to write down. And I admit some of my stories aren't very good, but there are people out there who generally enjoy my stories and tell me so. And that warms my heart. But no one really knows me. I sort of a wall flower in my house, except everyone knows I'm there, I'm just not as vocal as my sisters are. Now off my stereotype and onto the next.

My other sister is fifteen. She's the smart one, the academic one, the person my dad really wants me to be. Since I'm sixteen and I'm in a lower level learning class, since I'm not a great test taker, my sister has a lot of the same core classes as me. For example we have the same Chemistry teacher, but different periods. It was a little hard for me to be in my house in the eighth grade. I was failing a lot of my classes and my sister was getting straight A's. Every other day my dad would get home from work, look at my grades and then call me into my office to yell at me about why I couldn't be more like sister, be smart and actually try like her. And it hurts that now that we're in the same level classes she thinks she's smarter than me. Well she doesn't really think that, she jokes about it and sometimes I laugh at it too, because I know she's joking. But other times...I think 'maybe she's right, maybe I'm just too stupid to be in high school.' but I know I'm not, I would've been held back a long time ago. But the thing is, even though she's better than me in a lot of ways, I'm still me and she's still my best friend.

My younger sister is twelve, almost thirteen in a couple months. She's the athlete of the house, she likes to sing, but she's not as amazing as she thinks she is. She's an amazing soccer player, and she's great at singing. There was a point where I thought she was so good, that one day she would be the next Adele. Now it seems she's gotten too big of an ego to see that she's kind of annoying now. Sure she's good and everything, but her singing voice isn't going to get her on Broadway. She always says that she'll be famous one day and that I'll work for her while she's on tour, but I don't want to do that. I sincerely hope she makes it, because she's my sister, but what if she doesn't? What if she get's shot down because she doesn't sing as amazing as Adele? Well, she would be signed, I mean look at Ke$ha. Don't get me wrong, I love Ke$ha. I have a playlist dedicated to her, but let's face it, she can't sing, but she does write catchy songs. And when I sing songs with her...her and my other sister give me these looks like 'what does she think she's doing?' and it adds up.

It used to be me and my best friend, my sister. But then my other sister and her started to get the same interests while I got more into reading. I'd always loved reading, I'd just always prioritized my sister. And then my sister and other sister got into fashion and make up and I was left in the dark. It was like they were in their perfect little world where they're smart and pretty, and then there's just me. Everyone tells me I'm pretty, gorgeous, or beautiful. And sometimes I see it, most of the time? I don't see anything they're talking about. I see my two little sister's as beautiful, because they actually try on the weekends. What really ticks me off is when they go off on their little 'photoshoots' and they don't even tell me they're going. And then I ask them why they didn't invite me, and you wanna know what they say? "We didn't think you wanted to come." well if you'd have asked you would've known if I wanted to come with you. One time I did go with them, acording to one of them, my outfit wasn't very fashion forward and when I tried to model with them they gave me these judgemental looks and I went back to my house.

So why am I always the wall flower? At school I feel cool and popular. I guess part of the reason is that I lock myself away in my room, but if they asked me if I wanted to hang out with them I would. And before you think 'why doesn't she just go with them?' well how would you like it if you made plans with your best friend and some random person just walked up and hung out with you? It would annoy you right? So why would I do that if all I'm going to get is judgemental looks from my own sisters? I love them to death, but sometimes I feel like the people who judge me most is my family.