Just stop trying...

I don't know why I try in particular. I know my family doesn't want me but, if I leave then what will I have? Nothing... I can't do anything right. They think i'm this person that is as ignorant as the next person. But, if I wasn't here they would be sorry. Maybe they actually wouldn't care, "The lonliness will stay with me, and hold me till I fall asleep." Those lyrics describe exactly how I feel. Hated, lonely. No wonder I don't have many friends now. I've lost so much. My best friends name was Katie. She and I had alot in common. She was sweet and I loved being around her. We shared everything. But that's all over now. She dates every guy she meets now, her drama is, "OMG I think i'm going to dump him..." I couldn't confide in her anymore. She couldn't understand my emptiness since she and I were drifting apart. I couldn't tell her how my family hated me, how I cried when nobody talked ro me, how I liked a guy, because the next day I knew she would try to persue him. I guess I wanted to hang onto her because I thought she was all I had left. I know that I was dragging her down. Now there's only me, but, it's ok. I guess I can just live like this, "Let it go, and let the lonely in, to take my heart again" That's how I feel. It comes back to me and won't leave. I know my problems seem like crap. And they are. I suppose I make a big deal out of nothing, which is what my family tells me. They like to comment on everything I do. Iv'e gotten used to it.