The last time I wrote one of these was when they were journals and now everybody is like, questions and on about random things! But I don't care, I need an online diary at the minute and I am so freaking confused.
I am nineteen years old and absolutely infatuated and have been for almost a year but now I am petrified that I am going to lose him. Because we are growing up, we are actually doing grown up things like finding jobs and thinking about the future- universities and things. I had a job a year ago, just for weekends so that didn't affect how much we see eachother at all really- we were both at college so I used to see him after college but now he is getting a full time job and because I live a long bus journey away, and buses aren't that often, I am scared to death that I won't see him and that it will result in us drifting apart.
I have NEVER felt this way about anybody. I remember when I was fifteen, and I had my first long relationship (only nine months mind) and I thought I would never love like I had back then. Now I have proved myself wrong, so bad. People always say that if you are strong enough, you can get through anything but I am very scared he doens't feel as strong as me, and ends it because we're not together as much. I am the only girlfriend that he has ever had, which just makes me even more nervous that he'll get bored of me.
I am in love, and I have managed to fall for him this hard. I am at the age where I actually want to settle down, and have a really good job, and be in a home with the person I love. Yes I seem SO FREAKING NAIVE but being hurt is the worst thing and I cannot go through it again.
LOL I'm such a baby...
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