It's been a while dear mibba.

So.
It has indeed been a while, hasn't it mibs?
I don't update my poems (while deleting just as many), delete every story i bloody start and i can't even remember the last time i wrote a blog (can't really be arsed to check either).
I remember when i used to be completely obssessed with this site, constantly checking my then best mate's page - the squealage when a new poem was written, and sitting in awe when reading it - and the weird satisfaction i got with every reader, and comment. But I've decided I'm not going to post on here anymore.
The shock, the horror, right? I mean, that must be truly horrifying to read for the one or two people that care, or not as the case may be. But, i guess i'm writing this for some sort of personal closure.
I know, that probably sounds utterly ridiculous, and i don't really mind if you're sitting there giving your electronical device with internet access a wtf look because it's important to me.
I was introduced to this site in 2009(ish...maybe?...don't quote me on that) and i feel like, as with many, many things in my life recently, that my time being on here has run it's course. This blasted thing holds a lot of memories for me, some sad, good, blah, blah, blah. You get the gist.
And, i feel that stopping all this is in it's own way, freeing. I don't want to cling to this site looking at ex-mates, mates, randoms stuff in the hope i'll find some deep meaning there that i was never able to put into words (as i feel that was what i was trying to find at the time).
I was actually a very happy person when i joined this place, and since then i've had my ups and downs - been to some bad places i've never told anyone about, and some good places that were frighteningly few and far between at one point.
And now?
Well. That's the $64 million dollar question isn't it?

You can't imagine how weird this feels. I'm trying to put it into words.
It feels like this is my goodbye note. To all the people i've never really had the chance to say goodbye to, who when i think about i still catch my breath - whether it was years ago or more recent.

So, i would like to say goodbye, and i think this is a suitably melodramatic way to do it (i am in fact, rolling my eyes at myself as i type this even while i acknowledge it feels necessary). There are many things i regret - not speaking my mind when i really should of, not defending myself when people who loved me cut me wide fucking open with their actions and their godforsken words, not telling those people that i hated them and loved them to an equal degree, and for being so foolish to believe words that i'll forever be paying for. I wish i had done that, but then i wouldn't be who i am today, and you know what? I'm actually pretty awesome just how i am.
Wished you'd all have let me seen it sooner.
See you on the other side bitches ;)