Most Awful Feelings Ever

To me, the most awful feeling ever is being away from my mum.
I've moved out of my house, 250 miles away from home, and I'm now living alone, all because of uni. And I want to leave.
I have met some lovely people, sure, but here's where the awful feelings come in.
I hate the course I'm doing, even though I thought I'd love it.
My best friend and BPD, and I can't be there to support her when she needs me the most.
My boyfriend broke up with me because I'm not there, and we were planning a family, moving in, engagement...
But the most awful thing is knowing that I can't just call for my mum and she'll be there. I can't get a hug off her, she can't tell me to my face that everything will be ok, she can't wipe the tears from my eyes like she always used to. I even miss making her tea.
I can't stop crying, because my ex has the perfect way to get here but he won't, which makes me feel like he never loved me, and he's not doing anything to make me think different. I'm not well, I haven't been for two weeks, so it feels like all my emotions are heightened and things are hitting me worse than they normally would. I thought I was pregnant and found out I'm not which made me feel shit, and the weather here is terrible so doesn't make me feel better.
Everything seems to be against me, but I know if I had my mum next to me I could take on the world, and I could do this.
I never wanted to stay in the town I lived in, but now I can't wait to go back, and I just want to stay there forever, with my mum and with my best friend and with my ex.
I love them all so much, they're my life, and I can't manage without them.