Ramblings of my mind...24/7 360 - not for the faint heart *sad sigh*!

I’m not okay, this is not okay…I cannot do this anymore, because I don’t want to do this anymore and why does that make me weak – do you know what I have lived through, what I live through 24/7 360…it’s been two years, one month and 10 days and I am still NOT okay and people judge me for it.

Are you all cooked in the head, who in hades name would ask to be raped, beaten and to top it all off live to tell the tale and before you all jump all over me for being ungrateful for surviving, you live through it all and NO not just the rape, you all live through the doctors, the tests, hands all over you trying to heal you, you live with the constant fear of it not only happening to you, but all the BS over the diseases you might have picked up, the bile rising up your throat every time you feel eyes on you, in that hungry you are good enough to eat kinda way, you fight the flight response every time someone hugs you, you wake up to night sweats and headaches brought on through endless hidden tears, you live through the pain it takes to fix a broken body and messed up mind and a lost soul and then you can judge me, but until such time back the heck off cause I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS in no way shape or form....Bad Day!