It's a love hate relationship....with myself.

I am in an fickle.

Is that what it's called when you are stuck and don't know what to do or who to talk to/
I guess, so here it goes.

The other night as I was stalking my ex-best-friend on her Tumblr page, I was reading all her posts. She is doing this 365 day challenge thing where she answers in a post a question and one of the happened to be about me.

She said how we were best friends from the beginning and how it lasted from elementary school to the end of high school and things from there just kind of dropped off.

She also said how it was both of ours faults and how she thinks in someway it was for the best, but she misses me.

That stopped me right there.

She misses me.

I started crying.

Really! I have been wanting to talk to her for ages and I cannot bring myself to do it because we both have said some things we shouldn't have and I hate when she calls some one else her best friend because IT WAS ME. And now it isn't.

I mean, what do I do.
I wanted to text her then and there and say "I know we have been kind of hating on each other lately, but I miss you too."
I really do.

I didn't though....I;m not sure how she will respond if I do. And honestly if it is bad, I don't want to experience that, I just want to keep watching her from afar to make sure she is alright.

I don't know what to do.
Should I text her? or Stay away?
Advice?
Comfort?
Slap in the face?