F E A R

I have such dumb fears.

I'm not sure how to get over it at all either.

A year ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. I broke up with him because we just fell apart and I had a serious suspicion that he was cheating on me, or at least flirting with other girls behind my back.

However, we never actually left each others life. We still lived together, we still had sex, told each other we loved one another, fought and acted like we were together but we were horrible to each other. He'd ignore me, I'd ignore him, he'd flirt with girls and I'd flirt with guys.

Again, after all the terrible things we did to eachother we confessed all the dumb shit we did behind eachothers backs. We've been working on getting back together for about four months now. I still fear when he touches his phone and when it goes off. To show me respect he took the lock off of his phone and I'm still working on trusting him again. He trusts me, I'm just scared of getting hurt. I have a lot to work on as a person, physically and emotionally and mentally.

How do I fix these fears? How do I just stop? I want him to know that I want us together and that I'm ready, but I can't help when a girl talks to him and I get very jealous if I feel she's very attractive. See I mentally compare girls to myself and I feel like shit if she's super voluptuous and gorgeous. I know I'm insecure. I just want to be the best he's ever had. It means so MUCH to me that were working on getting back together, that we are working on fixing ourselves to make ourselves better for each other. How do I get over this jealous craze I get when I see attractive women talk to him? How to I prevent myself when his friend girls text him or whenever anyone texts him, how do I stop myself from thinking anything horrible? Advice would be so helpful.