Caught Up in My Mind

This is my first, and probably last blog entry because I'm sure people don't want to read what I have to say. I'm writing this entry because I wanted to say I'm sorry. Lately, I've been caught up in my mind, not thinking about what I'm doing, and I realize that I have been neglecting one of my best friends. I never in my right mind thought I was doing something like that. Apparently she has been mad at me for a while, and I was stupid not to know something was wrong. I was completely oblivious and had no idea what was going on. She is my best friend, and I made her feel unappreciated. I never meant to make her feel that way. I never want any of my friends to feel that way, and I guess I'm writing this because I really love her to pieces, and I want everyone to know that they should always check on their friends to make sure they are okay. Sometimes we unknowingly do things that make our friends feel like they don't matter and I never want to do that again.

I realize now that I didn't tell her enough how amazing she was while she watched me post these beautiful paragraphs onto my friend's wall. It never crossed my mind that she was feeling hurt by it. She has been there for me through everything and I haven't even told her how much I appreciate it because I just thought she knew. Well, even if she did know, it's nice to tell your friends once in a while how much you mean to them.

Looking back on it, I realize that she was acting differently, as tonight she was her usual self, the usual self that I absolutely loved. She is perfect the way she is and I want her to know that. I never passed in my superlative sheet, but right under the place with the person most likely to brighten up your day, I elegantly wrote her name, thinking of her first. When I was down, she brought me up. When I was so close to just giving up, she was there by my side. When I had no place to go, she took me in. She is one of the world's greatest friends and I absolutely love her and all her little things.

I am probably the worst friend ever, and I never meant to be, but I am going to make it better and make her feel special and loved like she does to me. This post is my way of giving her all of my love and appreciation because she is my family. She is the exact definition of what family should be. I absolutely couldn't live without her by my side. I need her more than anything and I can't bear to lose her. She has threatened to surprise adopt me and her mother agreed, which made me laugh. They are both amazing people and their perfection is immeasurable. I'm just really sorry. You don't even know how bad I feel about it.

I'm not going to use her name, but I want to let her now how perfect she is, especially to me. She is such a brilliant writer and everything she writes is pure gold. I can't see behind the feels that her writing gives me. She is extremely beautiful and fashionable, even when she just rolls out of bed. That's what makes her who she is, and that's what I love. She isn't like the other girls and that makes her amazing. She doesn't care what others think about her. She speaks her mind and she's honest. She's tells things how they are. She is all about the truth. To me, that is the most important thing. I hate betrayal and placing my trust in those who abuse it. She never abuses my trust. She is also a great listener, even when I have probably talked her ear off about about my problems, which I am also sorry for. I feel like I have so many problems, and I feel selfish for not listening to you enough and noticing what was wrong. She is also the kindest, most gentle, and most caring person I know. Everything she does makes me feel wanted and cared for. She goes out of her way to make sure that I'm alright, which make me feel horrible because I was too stupid to realize that I was the cause of her problems. I cannot express enough how sorry I am.

At this point, this post has become my own personal rant, and for that, I'm sorry. However, I wanted her to know that I care and that I never meant to do the things I did. I want her to know how much she means to me because she is my life in a way. I always have to see her face every morning or I know it's going to be a bad day. In a way, I think people can learn from my stupidity. Always tell your friends how much you appreciate them and be sure to treat your friends equally. They are all special as they are your friends for a reason. Anyway, I just hope people take this to heart and understand that friends are probably the most important things and that you should always be thinking about them. Well, I guess my first blog post is done. Happy Halloween everyone! :P
November 1st, 2012 at 03:17am