Today is my birthday. And I have never felt so alone in my entire life. My mom went to work and my dad went out to play. My sisters don't even know my birthday. And my friends are just not what I would expect. I never though turning 17 would ever be so painful.
Yesterday I went to an All Time Low concert. Fun, right? Well unless you're a 4'11 ft girl who ended up all the way in the back and surrounded by extremely tall people. Oh yea, that was a blast. Sure, I was in a good spot earlier but the girls behind me were completely horrible girls. I don't know how anyone can be that way… seriously I only thought that happened in cliched stories or movies. But I was wrong. I was too naive. Those girls were horrible. They were selfish and without morals just to see a band? I know All Time Low is amazing but was it necessary to be a horrible person?
Basically I was standing at a good spot… that's until everyone started shoving their way everywhere… And people started getting angry and those girls were getting more bitchier than before.
I know this whole thing is completely self pity… I just wish that being 17 would be a change for me.
I want to change as a person.
I want to be as independent as possible.
I don't want to need anything.
I want to learn to stand up for myself better.
I want my surgeries to be all done with.
I want to be a bitch.
I just really want to be my own person.
I want extreme confidence.
I want to tell people off and not feel horrible for it.
I want to be as cold of a person as possible…
I know these are horrible wants, but I want them to survive.
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