5/24/2012
I still love the stars. I will always love the stars.
No matter who leaves me mangled or hopelessly distraught,
I will always whisper wishes to the sky.
5/26/2012
I'm lonely. Even when I'm not alone.
I guess I'm good at passing time, but thats not how I want to live. I try really hard to be a good person. But even with that, I have selfish intentions.
Because eventually good shit happens to good people, right? Maybe I'm not good enough.
Maybe I never was.
6/3/2012
Never rely on anyone.
Because in the end they all leave, and you only have yourself.
So make sure you're able to smile and breathe on your own.
A few will promise to always be there for you, grin and nod.
Remind yourself that they have good intentions, perhaps the best. Still, they'll leave you eventually. Probably belly up.
6/4/2012
Today I made my mother unhappy again.
I'm trying to move in with my father. She hates the man.
I tried explaining it would be better for everyone, since my presence causes tension with my stepfather. She said she'll pray about it.
Sometimes I worry that I don't have a good enough relationship with God, because I never pray for answers. But it feels like some sort of contest with her.
Like having nicer shoes.
If she's obviously closer to God, then she obviously knows whats best.
I wish I knew him better, but I think I have a different version of him in mind.
6/9/2012
I want beauty and magic. Poetry on my walls and flowers at my door.
I want the most breath taking sunset to last all day
and some knight in shining armor to sweep me off my feet.
Not to be cliche, but to feel what its like.
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